tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post2734629567161577088..comments2023-09-29T14:08:28.531+01:00Comments on Mad Aunt Bernards Tortoise Poetry: The Women's Rights Movement In TrebollocksMad Aunt Bernardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16916242560785536017noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-23698890231043868472009-09-09T22:58:14.141+01:002009-09-09T22:58:14.141+01:00MM - stop gloating! In fact, ignore that, where ar...MM - stop gloating! In fact, ignore that, where are you teaching and at what college? Do they have an opening for a shrieking class, or I can do a class in wasp finding if the shrieking is too obscure. x<br />Raph, I will hold a private course in my hedge, which is ideal for long-necked beings who like a good overview of their learnings. Tell her tuesday week, and bring sarnies and ear plugs.<br />Ah! Sarah Jane, please Nancy away, I'm partial to a bit of Norfolk Horn at the mo! If you could knock me up a length I'd be well pleased!<br />(I think I'd better pick a different breed, and phrase that last sentence better)Mad Aunt Bernardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916242560785536017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-59244774311420049152009-09-09T21:12:40.583+01:002009-09-09T21:12:40.583+01:00Dear Auntie,
I understand you have been caught sh...Dear Auntie, <br />I understand you have been caught short whilst revolting, well rather fortuitously whilst searching for my lace trimmed hanky (which I was sent to Finnishing School to learn how to use correctly)I just happened to stumble across my Knitting Nancy in my smock pocket and would be happy to knock up a length for you?<br /><br />Would you prefer mohair or shetland? <br />Send your usual smoke signal and I'll start Nancying fortthwith,<br /><br />Affectionately yours, Her Down the Lane xsarah-jane down the lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01052558538802829343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-92207619389898534612009-09-09T21:06:48.174+01:002009-09-09T21:06:48.174+01:00Necky Becky says she would like to attend your Shr...Necky Becky says she would like to attend your Shrieking Classes, and how can she do this if you're not teaching them, so if the college authorities do not reinstate the classes they will be guilty of discriminating against interplanetary beings and holding up Progress.Raph G. Neckmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02468502742144495020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-55763427928518143572009-09-08T23:14:02.976+01:002009-09-08T23:14:02.976+01:00I'd love to offer help/comfort here, but unfor...I'd love to offer help/comfort here, but unfortunately my "A level in Sheep Shearing" course is taking up all my time at the moment....menopausalmusinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12255069917743230560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-39190606604185855592009-09-08T20:34:32.811+01:002009-09-08T20:34:32.811+01:00Well, thankyou for you stern dressing down, Yaff. ...Well, thankyou for you stern dressing down, Yaff. It seems I've clearly got ideas above my station and been brainwashed by these outrageous pearl-wearing fanatics who think it's daring to coax old women into revolting. Or is it simply that I am revolting already? Not sure....<br />Weev, the hedge is a flourishing growth of Thicketus Pudendum, it's not been trimmed for years.<br />Heather, thankyou for the paper, and sorry to hear of your symptoms. 55 years? What would you have to do to get that long in the clink? It's a shocking sentence.<br />Dearest Feck, I have observed your rules on womanhood and am getting on much better with my male counterparts. And the Strangeways riots? Happy days flashing at you all on the roof and being pelted with toilet rolls...rock on, boy!<br />DP, Crisp will not tolerate more walls, as it gives the fanatical feminists more corners to hide around. But he thanks you with a rumbunctious shake of a walrusy moustache.<br />Watercats - Again, thankyou for the ticking off, I must remember my place. Please contain your ghast, as it is unnecessary to let it out - I have learned my lesson. I will never entertain such a ridiculous notion as to visit the library. It's a good thing their shoes were confiscated.Mad Aunt Bernardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916242560785536017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-71470834128006871362009-09-08T20:21:29.587+01:002009-09-08T20:21:29.587+01:00Kripes!... How awful!.. as a fellow lady woman I&#...Kripes!... How awful!.. as a fellow lady woman I'm shocked, nay.. flabberghasted by your behaviour.. If you choose to whistle blow the top rate chaps I don't know if I could contain my ghast! I think it's jolly spiffing for us lady girls to perhaps indulge in the odd ramble in the lakes, but go to the library!?.. I should rather cut off my curled forelock and trade in my nylons for dungarees!<br />I urge you to see sense old Berny! Us girl ladies have got to be together in our gender army.. we were made by God himself in the image of Mary.. (or was it Eve?).. anyway, look what she did! *snort!...<br />Please don't do it!.. see jolly well sense! Gosh!.. how frightful!.. I ought to inform our brave chaps in blue!Batteson.Indhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846214578565824955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-62964134527237091202009-09-08T19:59:33.522+01:002009-09-08T19:59:33.522+01:00Lavatories are always a concern ... as are lava to...Lavatories are always a concern ... as are lava tories of course but I don't want to get into that explosive subject at the moment. It's the wall space you see, for tampon dispensers - you're OK Aunty, perfectly happy with some gorse and a dock leaf but younger gals are a lot more picky. I'd try and solve the situation obliquely by suggesting on some more walls being built ..... Crisp might well change his tune ........Daddy Papersurferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06229588740716431666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-73296305679870000692009-09-08T19:57:34.455+01:002009-09-08T19:57:34.455+01:00OUCH! Sorry, I just fell out of the ugly tree.This...OUCH! Sorry, I just fell out of the ugly tree.This is a difficult case ,Auntie, on the one hand women clearly have rights, but on the other they are often a danger to themselves and others if allowed out of the house.Ideally suited to cooking and cleaning ( generally they are shorter hence nearer the floor for mopping and have small feet enabling them to get closer to the kitchen sink)and having babies (and trial runs)they should remain in the home at all times except in Emergencies like going to hospital or to adjust the rooftop television ariel on match days.I remember the Library incident(thank you for mentioning it) and the two ladies pictured have had their shoes confiscated to prevent any further shenanigans.As for you Auntie ,stay on the roof, I remember when I was involved inthe Strangeways riots in Manchester and us lads had a jolly old time out on the prison roof.Mind you that was back in the days when the sun shone.Totalfeckineejithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05352708391465031655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-37022619941775906512009-09-08T19:45:53.955+01:002009-09-08T19:45:53.955+01:00Most female outbursts are classed as hormonal dear...Most female outbursts are classed as hormonal dear MAB. I have suffered from one or two of the symptoms you mention, plus chewing the carpet and climbing the curtains, but just put it down to being married to the same man for nearly 55 years! I'm on my way to pick up that paper.<br />I love the Professor's comment.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06826501916623305535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-39101556733524558002009-09-08T19:21:44.979+01:002009-09-08T19:21:44.979+01:00May I please have the latin name of the hedge in w...May I please have the latin name of the hedge in which you live? I wish to purchase one and plant it in my garden. I don't actually have a garden, but by the time I have inhaled the leaves for a while (hopefully, to the same happy conclusion as your own evident rumination) I shall possess a five bedroomed mansion with five acres of land.<br /><br />WV: Mentil - how appropriate is that?!The Lesser Weevilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08936694594717599122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882574271400724009.post-299564701481607352009-09-08T19:01:40.746+01:002009-09-08T19:01:40.746+01:00Oh! Dearest MAB, you are a caution, you really are...Oh! Dearest MAB, you are a caution, you really are.<br />Who pray has filled your pretty little head with such stuff and nonsense as this?<br />You haven't been snorting Jaffa cakes from a desert spoon I hope.<br />Women will never grow in popularity just stature.<br />The Governors are not getting rid because they feel threatened, its just that they are confused as they cannot compete with their Harris tweed versus your more manly hessian fabric based habit.<br />Now, as for the disclosures made in the document you claim to be exposing, I fear I must look for the signatory and expect it to be HG Wells. <br />I can assure you that just as the earth is flat and that man will never set foot on the moon. Further that Roswell exists and that there never will be a black president of the USA, women will never defy their masters.<br />Clearly these dutiful chattles are posing for the cameras at their husbands' behests, sharing in jolly good wheezes, which they may not understand, but at least it gives them time out from ironing.<br />You really are naughty trying to imply such notions.<br />Now if someone was to take an axe to these women then it would be nothing more than depression and not jealousy, for men are noble and do not succumb to these feminine emotions.<br />Now come on dear, the document doesn't really exist, does it poppet?<br />Hiding on constabulary premises in possession of a full bladder is an offence against common decency and I imagine that upon being found out, you are now using this lame excuse in mitigation or as a diversionary tactic. I suspect the former. No doubt upon checking your antecedents on their computers they have discovered that you are in default with your hedge taxes yet again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com