-It makes more sense than a couple of other things.

Mad Aunt Bernards Tortoise Poetry

"The page to come and visit for a fabulously sensible intake of poetry straight from the divinest of inspiration - and it's only a bit tortoisy. A cracking good read if you're under anaesthetic."
Lord Elpus - The Guardian

Wednesday, April 29

Broke My Bike - An account of a Cycle Dive by my dear friend, Prof Reddish

Mother is cross with me,
I broke my new bike.
We went to Worthing Pier -
such a marvellous day.
I came out of my bathing shelter
In my new combination costume.
It was a hit with the ladies,
I can tell you.
Well, naturally,
I rode Off the pier.
Like you do.
Now the bike is broken, because
I landed on the largest recorded
Turbot in history.
He is cross with me also.

(You wouldn't believe the bloody cheek of the photographer - I had to hold still in mid-air while he took the blasted photo. Well, that's what you get for having a sub-standard camera that comes with it's own cloak.)


  1. No - he gave the judge a sob story about a poor background and got 18mths community service. He's working as a park attendent, and has to be in the pond apparently because of his condition.

  2. Did your friend get another new bike after this?

  3. No, as the first dive was unsuccessful, he tried it again with stabilisers....It went horribly wrong, and the West Sussex Fire Brigade had to cut him free.
    However, having joined one of my Shrieking Classes, he has gone from strength to strength and I've marked him A*.