-It makes more sense than a couple of other things.

Mad Aunt Bernards Tortoise Poetry

"The page to come and visit for a fabulously sensible intake of poetry straight from the divinest of inspiration - and it's only a bit tortoisy. A cracking good read if you're under anaesthetic."
Lord Elpus - The Guardian

Tuesday, April 28

Cow Pat

Cow-pat, Cow-pat
you are flat -
I can't wait till you set.

You're crunchy top
can be picked off -
and turned into a frisbee.

Fling it full force,
at inferior numpties
who frequently cause you grief.

Then run like f**k
before they catch up,
and give you a class A shoeing.


  1. That's the second poem I've read today with a cowpat in it. Is it catching, I ask?

  2. I'd like to write a poem about cowpats, but all my poetry comes under the heading of bullsh**. As well as a frisbee, a well-crusted cowpat makes a pretty convincing beret.

  3. I've never worn one on my head, Will. I came pretty close though when my sister caught me with one and it hit me just past my left cheek...