-It makes more sense than a couple of other things.

Mad Aunt Bernards Tortoise Poetry

"The page to come and visit for a fabulously sensible intake of poetry straight from the divinest of inspiration - and it's only a bit tortoisy. A cracking good read if you're under anaesthetic."
Lord Elpus - The Guardian

Thursday, March 19


You old lady with your deep cupboards
buy some airtight things.
There's an army of weevils
in your flour -
and you haven't seen the worst.
You think that's your husband in the front room,
but look a bit closer, old thing.
It's a giant weevil,
with a pipe and glasses.
And he's posing as your husband.
Did you not notice the six legs?
Or the slippers on just two of the feet?
And what about the dangling nose -
hidden by the newspaper it's reading?
Cast out your weevils before it's too late,
or your council tax will go up.
And your neighbours will moan, that their
Ryvita's are infested and no-one will ring your


  1. Oh Crumbs! I'm just going to check what's behind the newspaper being read in the front room.

  2. Is it a giant weevil? At least if he is, he won't need a spoon for his soup...