Mary Table

Mary Table with your feet,
and hip and wooden eyes,
we know your coming round the corner
from your moans and heavy sighs.
At the bus stop you're the worst by far
much poorlier than the rest,
then you cough and retch all over us
and you don't even wear a vest.
With a Vicks Sinex up every nose,
and a Lemsip who knows where?
dressings and plasters on everything
and hot water bottles in your underwear.
Don't fly or you'll get 'DVD's' you say,
and the train gives you the flu,
and as for the woman dead from pneumonia,
she didn't have it as bad as you.
You're a medical oddity, you really are,
with the St. Vitus Dance you still stood,
and the Christmas Cholera you had last year,
that didn't stop you eating xmas pud.
You'll always have something dreadful,
a rash, or a deadly racking cough.
but be thankful you're still alive,
and that none of your bits have dropped off.