-It makes more sense than a couple of other things.

Mad Aunt Bernards Tortoise Poetry

"The page to come and visit for a fabulously sensible intake of poetry straight from the divinest of inspiration - and it's only a bit tortoisy. A cracking good read if you're under anaesthetic."
Lord Elpus - The Guardian

Saturday, April 4

Uncle Stinky's Ear Trumpet - on being offered a cup of tea

I can't hear you, speak UP!!!
A Bee?
Would I like? What?
A Wee? No, I've had one.
A Bee? Why would I need a Bee? For heavens' sake, I swear these people are funny in the head.
A Knee?
Knee. Knee?
No, I can't hear you.
The end of my trumpet is blocked with wax.
But I could do with a cup of tea, though. You haven't offered one for a while.


  1. Oh, I've just found you Aunt Bernard and I'm never going to let you go!!!!

  2. Ditto Jan.
    This was very good. Enjoyed :)

  3. This is so funny but also very near the truth. My Mum wears a hearing aid in each ear, and even so our conversations sound very like your poem at times!

  4. I like this it reminds me of my favourite joke as a child about the man with the banana in his ear.Could do with a bit more tortoise though.pity it wasn't a tortoise day.

  5. Thanks for visiting,
    i used to have a tortoise who loved to help me with my art work, i could do with her now.